Family Theories

Throughout the week, we have discussed and read articles about different family theories. There are 4 main theories, but 3 that I would like to discuss.

1. Systems Theory: Each person in a family plays a certain role in the family unit. Every single person is important because they all play a special part even the child that is considered the bad child of the family. For example, when one of the children gets in trouble, probably the other children tend to glow because they weren't the ones getting in trouble. Sometimes the bad child can provide balance in the family. If the parents are in an argument, the bad child can draw attention to himself which results sometimes in the parents forgetting about their problems. You can think about the family as a machine. When something goes wrong, it effects every person.

2. Exchange Theory: "you owe me" idea. Example: If mom does the dishes, then children wash the dishes. Usually this idea is not discussed it is just to be understood by each member of the family. If one person seems to think they are not getting enough back for what they are doing, the relationship falls apart. In order for this not to happen, it is crucial that each family member is unselfish. Helping out and thinking about everyone else will help to make a happier family.

3. Symbolic Interaction Theory: Family members are shaped by their experiences in life. This one to me is by far the most interesting and I think in my own family is the most common. Nothing has to be said, it is just understood. For example, if mom rolls her eyes, it's understood that she is annoyed or upset. If dad raises his voice, it is understood that he is upset. Everything we do is through symbols. All behavior has meaning. If a child begins to shut down and not say anything at all, one can tell that through his behavior something is obviously wrong. It is important to make it clear what we are feeling or trying to get across with our behaviors. Most often they are misinterpreted. Sometimes a husband will try and be helpful out of love, but his wife takes it as he is being overbearing and controlling. Communication is key in every family. If we learn to communicate, many problems would most likely be solved.

In all of these family theories, loving one another is the most important. When we love one another, it will be easier to be unselfish and to communicate with each other. When we do these things our families will be happier. Love the Lord because he can make each of us stronger. We will then be better contributor to making a successful family.

"The Lord didn't tell us it would be easy, but he has assured us it would be possible." ~Dallin H. Oaks.