Adolescence is a very challenging time for both the parents and child. The child starts to be more independentQ and doesn't want mom and dad involved as much. They want more freedom. Parents have a hard time adjusting to all the changes. Conflict arises out of opposing needs and interests. There seems to be more arguments and the relationship can closeness lessens. It all depends on how the situations are handled. Most people think that the teenage years are the worst, but really they can be great. Parents need to remember to be warm and supportive. Again, good communication is necessary. Both parents and child need to strive to understand and respect the other. Everyone should be open about their feelings. Spend time together. If You have a chance, I would encourage you to watch this video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dFzOQQzARb
I think it can be used as a metaphor of our life. It starts out kind of slow. There are some excited, big times in life as we continue to grow older. As children are starting to grow up and move out, there are a lot of huge changes to be made. As we work together just as the piano and cello, it can turn out beautiful. Remember our family and our relationships will be what we make them.
I am sad to have this semester be over. I have absolutely loved this class and all it has taught me. One think that I think I have found to be most important in the family unit is communication. Verbal and non verbal communication is important, but listening is just as if not more. We can learn so much by slowing down to listen. A father once said, "I do a greater amount of good when I listen to my children than when I talk to them." Elder Nelson said, "Wise parents and teachers, listen to learn from children." One last quote that I think sums my ideas up really well is, "Speak in such a way that others love to listen to you, listen in such a way that others love to speak to you."
One other thing I have found really important is dating. Dating the right way rather than hanging out. Dating is our way of finding an eternal companion. If we use Elder Oaks advice and date the right way with the 3 P's, 1-Planned Ahead, 2-Paid For, 3-Paired off, we will get to know our dates better and find good qualities or bad ones. We will be able to better understand what we want in our future spouse.
This class has been a great blessing in my life. I have learned about the importance of family. I love my future family already. Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read my blog. I really appreciate you. If you have questions feel free to comment.
Wednesday, December 18, 2013
Friday, December 13, 2013
Divorce
This week, we discussed divorce and remarriage. On Monday, we identified some divorce statistics. One that really stood out to me was that 70 percent of divorced people, after two years, believe they could have and SHOULD have saved the marriage. The easy way is not always the best way. Divorce is not easy because it costs a lot of money, but it is an easy way to get out of a marriage. I realize there are times when people have to get a divorce. It is to the benefit of every family member, but I also believe there are times when the family should try and work together to make the marriage work. Parents should look at the future consequences of divorce when they are mad and upset with one another. Children no longer have a stable home. They are going from one to the other if parents have joint custody. If one parent gets remarried, it's difficult for the children to adjust in most cases. Sometimes children want to please both parents, but mom is trying to get child to be on her side. If the divorced parents have children and joint custody, they still have to see each other and communicate. They still have to be respectful. This is so difficult for the children and parents. If possible, families should try to work out their problems. There are many counselors who can help, or the Lord is the best counselor. Even though it's very difficult to work through problems and difficulties, it will be worth it in the end. Families will be happier. Usually the hard way is the best way.
Friday, December 6, 2013
Teaching by Example
This week we were able to learn and discuss parenting. We talked about the importance and purpose of parenting. We also discussed some of the ideal ways to handle situations with our children. During the whole week, I was able to see how important it is for parents to teach by example. Especially for teenagers, they learn better by watching their parents rather than listening to what they have to say. That's no fun. We want our kids to listen to what we say and we just want them to do it. It doesn't quite work like that most of the time even if we wished it would. We have to spend a lot of time and work really hard to best teach our children and provide for their needs.
Personal prayer and scripture study are crucial. They help us learn from our Savior and be guided in our every day life. We want our children to be active in their scriptures and pray regularly. We can't just tell them to do it and expect it. Parents should do it as a family and also personally. I love to walk into my parents room and see them kneeling at their bedside. It helps me have a stronger desire to do it myself.
Children make mistakes just as parents do. We don't want to see our children make mistakes so we try to help them make better choices. Sometimes when they mess up, it's hard not to get really upset and yell. Then if the child yells back, we get even more upset. Once again, we are teaching by example. If we instead choose to be respectful and talk firmly but politely, we can hope for the same in return. That may not happen, but at least we are doing our best and setting a good example that will hopefully one day benefit our children.
We desire for our children to have great qualities. One thing my parents have always tried to instill in me was the importance of hard work, honesty, and respect. I learned it because they lived it. I remember a time when my mother was very honest. She went back and told the truth after another person had lied about my brother's age. It would have been easy to not go back and tell the truth because my brother got something free, but she went back and was honest. I'll never forget that great example. My father is a very hard working man. As we works on the farm, there are times he doesn't go to bed because he is working hard to provide for our family. He also gave me the opportunity to work on the farm as I moved water for many years. My parent's examples helped me to learn important lessons.
President Hinkley once said, "When parents try to teach their children to avoid danger, it is no answer for parents to say to their children, ‘We are experienced and wise in the ways of the world, and we can get closer to the edge of the cliff than you.’ Parental hypocrisy can make children cynical and unbelieving of what they are taught in the home. For instance, when parents attend movies they forbid their children to see, parental credibility is diminished. If children are expected to be honest, parents must be honest. If children are expected to be virtuous, parents must be virtuous. If you expect your children to be honorable, you must be honorable."
It's up to you parents. Teach by example. If you mess up, IT'S OKAY. Apologize and do better next time. Reach to our loving Heavenly Father and he will help you and guide you.
Personal prayer and scripture study are crucial. They help us learn from our Savior and be guided in our every day life. We want our children to be active in their scriptures and pray regularly. We can't just tell them to do it and expect it. Parents should do it as a family and also personally. I love to walk into my parents room and see them kneeling at their bedside. It helps me have a stronger desire to do it myself.
Children make mistakes just as parents do. We don't want to see our children make mistakes so we try to help them make better choices. Sometimes when they mess up, it's hard not to get really upset and yell. Then if the child yells back, we get even more upset. Once again, we are teaching by example. If we instead choose to be respectful and talk firmly but politely, we can hope for the same in return. That may not happen, but at least we are doing our best and setting a good example that will hopefully one day benefit our children.
We desire for our children to have great qualities. One thing my parents have always tried to instill in me was the importance of hard work, honesty, and respect. I learned it because they lived it. I remember a time when my mother was very honest. She went back and told the truth after another person had lied about my brother's age. It would have been easy to not go back and tell the truth because my brother got something free, but she went back and was honest. I'll never forget that great example. My father is a very hard working man. As we works on the farm, there are times he doesn't go to bed because he is working hard to provide for our family. He also gave me the opportunity to work on the farm as I moved water for many years. My parent's examples helped me to learn important lessons.
President Hinkley once said, "When parents try to teach their children to avoid danger, it is no answer for parents to say to their children, ‘We are experienced and wise in the ways of the world, and we can get closer to the edge of the cliff than you.’ Parental hypocrisy can make children cynical and unbelieving of what they are taught in the home. For instance, when parents attend movies they forbid their children to see, parental credibility is diminished. If children are expected to be honest, parents must be honest. If children are expected to be virtuous, parents must be virtuous. If you expect your children to be honorable, you must be honorable."
It's up to you parents. Teach by example. If you mess up, IT'S OKAY. Apologize and do better next time. Reach to our loving Heavenly Father and he will help you and guide you.
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