Saturday, November 9, 2013

Magic 5 Hours

This week was very informative as we talked about marriage fidelity, intimacy, and teaching children correctly about marital intimacy. We should always be 100% honest with our spouse when we are married. We should never spend too much time and energy on someone or something else. It's also important to remember how sacred intimacy is. It should be saved for marriage. When teaching our children, we should feel comfortable about talking about intimacy and don't expect them to learn about it from someone on the school bus or at recess. Take the opportunity and teach your children. Don't be afraid. It is not a dirty thing it is very special and sacred. There are some great resources on lds.org that can help guide you in informing your children. https://www.lds.org/manual/a-parents-guide 

Those were a few topics I wanted to touch on, but I want to focus on one important thing that stood out to me. When a couple is dating, they are with each other quite often, they show affection for one another, and they go on dates often. How do you continue this once you're married? A great solution is Magic 5 Hours. This idea came from John Gottman's book, The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work. These 5 magic hours are the least amount of time a couple should spend together. They set a great foundation.

Partings: 2 minutes x 5 days = 10 minutes
Reunions: 20 minutes x 5 days = 100 minutes
Admiration: 5 minutes x 7 days = 35 minutes
Affection: 5 minutes x 7 days = 35 minutes
Weekly Date: 2 hours x 1 day = 120 minutes
Week Total = 300 minutes or 5 hours

Partings refer to the amount of time spent saying goodbye to one another in the morning. You shouldn't have a rushed kiss, instead a sincere kiss and goodbye when one leaves the home for work or school or whatever activities one might be involved in. 

He talks about reunions being the amount if time the couple spends when they return home and are together. They should spend 20 minutes talking about each others days. This helps them know how to help each other better. It also strengthens the relationship.

Admiration meaning complimenting one another, telling each other you appreciate the other, and saying I love you. Spend 5 minutes every single day to do that. It's difficult to be upset with your spouse when you look for the good. 

Showing affection by hugging and kissing. Do it! It will bring you closer. 5 minutes is a tiny bit of your day. 

Last but definitely not least is a weekly date. Friday night seems to work well for most couples. Set aside at least 2 hours to spend time with your spouse. Use the time to reconnect and enjoy one another's company. 

I promise if you use the Magic 5 hours you won't regret it one bit. You will be blessed and find much more satisfaction with your marriage. Share this idea with your spouse. I wish you all the best of luck!








1 comment:

  1. I've never heard of the "Magic 5" but it sounds so interesting, thanks for sharing! I liked that you discussed the importance of remaining 100% loyal to your spouse in every sense. What are some potential ways in which spouses often become disloyal without being sexually unfaithful? You mentioned the importance of teaching children about sexual intimacy before the world teaches them and skews their views. Why do you believe so many good parents shy away from this topic or feel shameful?

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