Research shows that most marriages have a decrease in satisfaction with each child that is born. I think it is hard to completely turn this around, but I think there are ways to improve the satisfaction. When a couple is having a baby, it can strengthen their relationship if they let it. The situation and what they gain is all about what they choose to do. It can be very stressful because it is a huge change. Instead of couples focusing on one another, now they are focusing on a new baby. They are demanding. They need a lot of attention. However, the new child is a blessing. Each couple will either make it one of the greatest blessings or it can be a burden. Again, it is how they handle the experience. I think there are a few ways a couple can make the best of their experience.
1. Involvement. A mother is the one bearing the child, but that does not mean the father shouldn't be involved. The wife can involve her husband by going to doctor appointments together, and buy items for the new baby together. When the baby is moving and kicking, the wife should let her husband feel the movement. This provides a sense of attachment at the beginning. It shows the wife he does care. As parents prepare for delivery, they both need to take classes together that prepare them for the delivery and caring for a newborn.
2. Communication. Often times a husband will feel like his wife no longer cares about him once there is a new baby in their family. The wife also feels like the husband doesn't care. Communication is SO important. They can communicate verbally and non verbally. They need to tell each other how they are feeling, give compliments, do acts of service for each other such as cleaning the house or waking up in the middle of the night with the crying baby. There are constant chores that need to be done around the house. Do it, don't let it get out of hand. Share responsibilities. This shows the couple cares for one another. They do want to help and make each others load lighter. TALK. ASK QUESTIONS. Communication is crucial.
3. Service. The greatest act of service the Savior performed was the Atonement. That great gift shows each of us that he loves us beyond understanding. He cares for us and wants the best for us. Husbands and wives need to continually serve one another like I mentioned above. It shows love and that you truly care for each other. Both husband and wife need to reach out to each other and understand what the other is needing and feeling. When serving others it helps us to forget ourselves and find the happiness in helping each other.
4. Patience. When a husband's wife is going through pregnancy, at times it will probably not be very pleasant because she will be sick and emotions are very different. Even though it will be hard at times, it's important to have patience. Patience with one another. He will have to be patient with her as she is undergoing many changes. She will have to be patient with him because he won't know everything he is supposed to do. He won't know exactly how she is feeling and how to help her with these changes. As both husband and wife show patience they will receive understanding.
5. Selflessness. The husband's needs can be met as he stops thinking about himself and meets the needs of his wife or new baby, and vice versa. A person's needs can be met if they turn their thoughts to someone else and help them. Husbands and wives need to care for each other and their baby. It is no longer about themselves. If they didn't learn that at the beginning of their marriage, they will now that they are having a baby. Parents need to remember that they choose to bring a new life into this world and there will be many sacrifices made and they need to find joy in the journey.
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